You Could Be Happy
by Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Show
Summary: Post-Finale. Alt!Liv deals with being over here. Slight P/O if you tilt your head and squint. I highly recommend doing both. Spoilers for Over There Pt 2.


**So I should probably be working on another chapter of 64, but for right now I'm going to dip into the Fringe world.**

**I know the finale was two weeks ago, but think of this as being fashionably late.**

**This is un-betad, so all mistakes are mine. Apologies in advance for any atrocious spellings.**

**Also, I'm not completely sold on the ending, so please tell me what you think.**

**Reviews make me feel like I actually managed to spot the Observer.**

* * *

You want to go home.

You hate it here. It's awful and cold and so different from your world, and yet it's the same.

Boston exists here. It exists in your world too, but it's been in quarantine for years. People can't live there.

_She _lives there.

Olivia.

The _other_ Olivia. The one that looks just like you.

But it isn't you. The other Olivia is a monster, she invaded your world and she is getting what she deserves.

Whatever that is, you aren't sure. The Secretary only gave you the basics of your mission.

The mission you have yet to start.

The first day here you're woken up at 7:30 by persistent knocking at your door. You answer it, still half asleep, and see what you're almost positive is a dream.

Rachel.

Rachel died seven years ago. In _your_ world, anyway.

Over here she's alive. Over here she has a daughter.

"Aunt Liv!"

And said daughter is launching herself into your arms.

You try and tell yourself you're just playing the part, that the pancakes and the games, the giggles and cuddles are all part of the act. You don't really care for this girl. You're not even related to her. Not technically.

But that's not true. Every time she jumps on your bed (but is it really yours?) and laughs so loud you swear the upstairs neighbors can hear you have that feeling in your gut; the feeling that says you should take a step back because this is quickly becoming a lot more than just an assignment.

Rachel gives you a funny look when she sees the hair, but it's only a few minutes before the two of you are laughing like nothing ever went wrong.

And it didn't. Not over here. Not really, anyway.

Peter calls you on the third day. You've been expecting it, you haven't talked to him since you got back and you're sure he has something important to say.

You meet him at the lab. Walter and Astrid (_she _is so very different over here) have run out for lunch or something and Peter almost corners you in your office.

He clears his throat and makes an awkward sort of motion with his hands, as if he's not quite sure what to do to announce his presence.

You stand up and smile, torn between running up and embracing him and staying where you are. You're still not sure what kind of relationship he has with your double.

But he makes it easy for you. He does the awkward arm thing again before launching into a full blown explanation about how you should both forget about what happened over there (and you have to think about what 'over there' means for a minute). He goes on for a full five minutes and you're leaning against your desk, nodding when appropriate and all but blatantly agreeing.

He stops mid sentence, shakes his head, mutters a 'Screw it' and presses his lips against yours.

It's shocking, to say the least.

And weird and unfortunate and just a little bit nice.

Once it's over he leans his forehead against yours and smiles, clearly looking for some sort of response.

You kiss him again.

Five days back and you start to feel homesick. Not terribly so, but you've realized by now that this Olivias life is rather bleak. The only advantage she has over you is that her sister is still alive.

But that's it. Her mothers dead, her fathers dead, she was experimented on as a child (this you've picked up on only because Peter and Walter frequently having staring matches when discussing something called 'Cortexiphan') and her job is basically her life.

You would feel sorry for her if she wasn't her.

Eight days back and you're very homesick.

You miss Frank, and you miss your nicknames. You never noticed the Livs and Livvys until they were gone.

Peter calls you Livia, but that one feels like it's meant for someone very different from you.

You miss your mom, and you miss the way she was always there. She isn't _here_ at all, and the thought of that makes you want to curl up into a ball.

You miss Charlie, and you miss teasing him. He's dead over here, and you've heard talk of a shapeshifter and you know he's not your Charlie, but you can't stop every bone in your body from asking 'Why him?', because you could really use that no-nonsense voice right now. You would love for it to tell you what to do.

Nine days in and you're feeling guilty.

You feel bad for deceiving them. They're actually good people (and you're surprised, the Secretary only told you the worst), and you're close to wanting to give up and end this charade.

But then you catch a glimpse of something in Walters eye and you think maybe they're deceiving you.

You see the same thing on Rachels face the first time you make Ella pancakes (and burn them), and it disappears as quickly as it comes but you can't help but feel worried.

So you make the pancakes perfectly the next time, and you never refuse another drink that Peter offers you and you ignore the fact that there's a cow in the lab. And you play your part perfectly, all the while feeling worse and worse about yourself.

After eleven days Peter figures it out.

You go for drinks at a bar (and you're actually starting to get used to the taste) and halfway through he starts saying these incredibly sweet things and you run out of there as fast as you can because some part of you is screaming that he shouldn't be saying these things to anyone else but her.

He doesn't call you for the rest of the night, and he's curiously silent the next day in the lab. But he doesn't say anything and neither do you.

But he knows. You can see it in his eyes, he doesn't look at you like you're the best thing in the world(s?) anymore, now he looks at you with cold eyes and an accusing glare.

You almost feel remorse.

Thirteen days back and you're starting to figure out why she went to the other side.

You've taken the day off work and you're moping around your apartment, half watching whatever marathon is on tv (and some part of you is upset that they killed Kate in NCIS because she's your favorite character, but you've realized by now that everyone you like is dead over here). You're beginning to see her motives. A tiny part of you understands why she went over to your side, why she did what she did.

You'd do the same thing if the man you loved disappeared one day. You'd cross over for Frank, and for your mother, and even for Charlie, because you now realize how awful life is without them.

You thank god when (on the fifteenth day) you get to the lab and they're gone. You presume they went to Massive Dynamic or the lake or where ever and are attempting to cross over. To save her.

You want to follow them. You want to beg them to take you with them, to let you go back home because that's all you want. That's all you've wanted from the start.

But you know they'd refuse. Why would they do a favor for someone who lied to them? You're a traitor, and that's all you'll ever be to them.

So you go home. You sit on your couch and you want nothing more that to be able to teleport back to your side (that's one of _her_ powers, or so you've been told).

You hate it here.

But you're stuck.


End file.
